Something that I found interesting
throughout the readings was the way that birthmothers were viewed post-adoption. Before this class, I was more or less
oblivious to the incredibly negative view of birthmothers that continued long
after the baby was born. Society looked down upon them to such a degree that many
women felt they had to keep their past a secret. One story from the reading
that stood out to me was the story about a birthmother meeting a social worker
at the train station. When the social worker didn’t recognize her, she
apologized, “I’m sorry, you just didn’t look like a birthmother” (Solinger
111). Shocked, I stopped reading for a minute; what exactly does a birthmother
supposedly look like? With discrimination like that, it is no wonder that
birthmothers felt they had to hide their identities. It makes you wonder – what
would you do in their shoes? Would you embrace your past and share it, despite
the negative responses you would likely receive? Or would you be too terrified,
and keep your secrets to yourself? I don’t think there is an easy answer, and
it is unfortunate that so many women have had to struggle with that dilemma.
I think
that the CUB organization was a huge step for birthmothers across the country. United,
these women helped change the way birthmothers are viewed (Solinger 109). I
found it a little disheartening that despite the fact that Lee Campbell founded
such a great organization, she had a hard time appearing on television to share
her experience and literally stayed in the shadows because of the intense
discrimination. It was even worse
reading about the audience’s reaction to her story. When the talk show host
asked the audience who thought that she didn’t
have a right to know her son who she placed for adoption, he “stepped back
at the thunderous applause”
(Solinger 135). I think it is sickening that people were so quick to judge. Solinger
writes that CUB received many letters “reminding [birthmothers] that they had
merely performed as ‘breeders’ and so had no right to ‘interfere’ in their
children’s lives” (119). It’s terrible to think that these harsh words were not
uncommon. I’m interested to know how different things are today. From the
little familiarity I have with adoption, it seems that the discrimination has
lessened, but I am still curious how often birthmothers continue to be seen in
such a negative light.
-Rachel
Solinger, R. (2001). "Clamining rights in te era
of choice: Part II: Concerned united birthparents," fromBeggars and
choosers: How the politics of choice shapes adoption, abortion, and welfare
in the United States. NY: Hill and Wang, p.103-138.
Graded Reply
ReplyDeleteYou raise many great points, Rachel. I, too, was somewhat unfamiliar with the negative views that birthmothers faced. It makes me wonder why we haven’t talked about this sooner in different classes and discussions. The story about the birthmother meeting a social worker at the train station also stood out to me as well. When the social made the comment, “I’m sorry, you didn’t look like a birthmother,” (111), it made me think that there needed to be a whole level of discrimination that society needs to address more often. “Birthmotherism” or something fits the category. It makes me question as to why our people so quick to judge?
Now, when it comes to your questions like, “what would you do in their shoes?” or, “would you embrace your fast and share it,” etc., I have to say courage takes a lot. I can relate to the birthmothers in a way because of coming out as a gay man. If you had asked me years and years ago if I could have come out, I would have said, “No,” due to the history of GLBT rights. If I was a birthmother back then, I would probably be terrified. Being criticized and yelled at for being someone that doesn’t fit the “normal” society is hard some days. It takes a lot of courage to stand up. I only hope that birthmothers do not face as much discrimination as they once did. I wish it was all gone, but realistically, I bet some people still discriminate all the time when it comes to birthmothers.