Blog post #4 Option 1

As an adoptee that has grown up in a home with a form of open adoption, it is easy for me to say that open adoption is a very positive thing for the adoption triad. My open adoption has allowed me the capability to ask questions and receive answers about where I came from and the people that gave me life. For a teenager, these questions are critical in the development of their self-concept and without them many are left wondering or filling the void with unrealistic fantasies. On the other side of the triangle, my open adoption has allowed my birth family to know about me through letters my parents send to them annually. I have never met my birth parents, but they will forever know that I am loved, safe, healthy, and happy through these series of letters that my parents write. This is one of the greatest gifts that a birthparent can receive. My parents as well benefit from the outcomes of the open adoption. They are able to answer the questions that I ask, but more importantly they get to thank my birthparents every year for the gift that they gave my family. It is important to me and my family that they know how grateful we are for what they have given us.

With this being said, I do believe that openness in adoption can be complicated. After reading A Love Story written by Kathleen Scully Davis, about meeting her birth daughter, it is clear that the implications of openness in adoption go beyond what one can scratch on the surface. Contact with birthparents is a deeply emotional and conflicting ordeal that is not in any way easy. Kathleen describes the mixed emotions that are felt by each party perfectly when she states of her birth daughter when meeting for the first time, “The look on her face was a combination of curiosity and stage fright. It’s as if she was thinking, How did this happen? I was just going on living my life, being totally content with my existing family. I wasn’t even that curious…and now here she is on my doorstep. I feel nauseous. How do we act? What do we do? What if I don’t like her? What if she doesn’t like me?” Openness can create these confusing types of feelings and can be hard for those involved in adoption, especially when meetings are unwanted or unnecessary. Although openness can be a positive experience, there are also negative aspects that complicate whether an open adoption is right for any given family. 

-Aly

Blog Post 4, Option 1

        In the past few weeks, we have focused a lot on birthmothers and their perspectives on things. While I found that incredibly interesting, it was really great to hear things from the perspective of an adoptee in class on Tuesday. One of the things that struck me most about our speakers’s story was the story about the woman who came to see her on her college campus. I can’t even begin to imagine what she was feeling as she wondered if that woman was her birthmother! I think that if I were an adoptee, a part of my mind would always be wondering about my birth family, and whether I had seen them before and not realized it. Would I see people who have similar features to me and wonder if we’re related? I think I would always have some curiosity about where I came from. When our speaker told us about her experience trying to get her records from the hospital, I started to really think about how hard and emotionally straining it would be, searching for your identity. All of us go through a stage where we are trying to find ourselves – who are we going to be, and what do we want to do with our lives? But many adoptees seem to go through another search for identity – literally who they are, and where they came from. I can’t imagine the feelings of frustration when being denied access to your own records. Having the answers so close, and yet so far from reach, would be a lot to deal with.

As far as gaining access to adoption records goes, my first instinct tells me, “Of course they should have the right – it’s information about their own history!” But then I think about the other side – the birth mother. If she didn’t want to be found, then that right should be respected. I think you really have to consider both sides of it. Thankfully, it appears that more and more birthmothers want to be found and want some sort of open adoption, so the issues with adoption records seem to be declining. However, there are still many middle aged adoptees, such as Tuesday's speaker, who are struggling with the fact that they don’t have their records. Personally, I think there are some issues with the laws, as Pertman talks about in Adoption Nation. Some states require mutual consent before the adoptee and birthparents can be reunited. At first that seems fairly logical, but as Pertman points out, no one else is treated like this; by adding in this extra step, adoptees are singled out and denied rights. Additionally,  Pertman writes that, “Requiring mutual consent means that once a birth mother dies, even if she wanted a relationship with the child she relinquished, no legal mechanism remains by which the adoptee can learn about her past or trace other biological family members” (104). Cases like this show how absurd the adoption laws can be.

          Even if a birthmother wants to remain anonymous, I still think that an adoptee should have access to a fair amount of medical history, if nothing else. If I were an adoptee and had no idea what kind of health issues ran in my birth family, and I knew that information was being kept from me, I imagine it would be very frustrating. My uncle, who is in his forties, was adopted as a baby and has no idea who his birthparents are. It didn’t bother him much until he had children and one of them ended up in the hospital. The doctors wanted to know about the family medical history, and my uncle had no information to give. Since then, my uncle has tried to get some information about his adoption, but has not had any luck yet. I definitely think that adoptees have the right to know at least certain aspects of their history, but it is a complicated balance between the rights of the adoptee and the rights of the birthparents.

-Rachel 

Pertman, A. (2011). Adoption nation. Boston: Harvard Common Press.

Blogpost #4 Free Write

My family meeting me for the first time. (October 1991)

The past few speakers and my reading of “I Wish for you a Beautiful Life” have helped me do a lot of self reflection on my own adoption.  Hearing the CUB member tell her story was an invaluable experience.  It forced me to think about the process my own birthmother may have gone through.  Growing up, my family maintained an environment which did not foster discussion about my adoption.  All I know about my adoption is that my birthmother was very young.  I assumed I was simply “given up” because I was unwanted and unloved.  The letters in “I Wish for you a Beautiful Life” and the CUB speaker presented experiences that challenged this prior belief.  It was incredible to think that my adoption was not an act of carelessness but an act of love.  This realization has made me much more grateful to my birthmother and to my parents alike.  My birthmother for choosing to give birth to me despite the harsh stigmas and treatment of single mothers in Korea, and my parents for going through the complex adoption process and providing me with a loving, happy life. Watching reunion videos online and hearing about other adoptees who have met their birthparents is a deeply emotional experience.  I dream of one day seeing an individual who bears some resemblance to me, and it seems surreal.  Many take this for granted, but attending family reunions where you are the only non-white individual takes an immense emotional toll on a person.  Although I am truly blessed with friends and family to support me, I wonder if there are some unique connections that exist only between those biologically related.  Unfortunately, I know it takes a lot of work, both physically and emotionally, to find one’s birthparents.  I fear I would hurt my parents in the process and am not prepared to commit a significant portion of my life to that quest.  I hope that my birthmother had an attitude similar to those in the “I Wish for you a Beautiful Life” wishing that I lead a life “loved, as well as healthy and strong.”  Although I may never meet my birthmother, I am eternally grateful for her decision for adoption.  It is comforting to know my birthmother could be constantly praying for my happiness and well-being.  I was particularly moved by Letter 31 which says, “Even though you are so far away from me, you are always deep in my heart” (119).  I hope my birthmother knows that she is always in my heart, and I pray that I may have a place in hers.

Reanna N.

Blog 4, Option 1

Open Adoption

             

               Our class was fortunate enough to have a birthmother from CUB come to class and have her share her story then the following class period have an adoptee faculty member come to share her story as well. It was important to hear from an adoptive parent and adoptee and it was after hearing both sides which allowed me to see the controversy with the open records policy. It is important to meet both the birthparents and adoptee’s legal rights, but what happens when it is impossible to fulfill someone’s right when it imposes on another person’s rights?  The adult adoptee made a powerful point for having the right to able to gain access to her records stating “why do I need their (birthparents) permission to do something when I am 48. I do not even ask my parents’ permission anymore.” Adoptees are one of the only populations who are denied access to their original birth records. Not only are these records are important for medical histories, but on the adoptee developing their own identity as well. Many adoptees go on a quest for their identity and many people simply just want to meet someone who looks like them. They are curious on whom their birth parents are and many times they fantasize about who their birthparents are and why the birthparents decided to give their child up for adoption during their childhood.  The “adoptees don’t’ seek to embarrass or expose anyone. They only want to fill the void in their own soul” (Pertman 131). Having the open records would allow adoptees to have information that many nonadoptees take for granted.

            However giving full open adoption in all states imposes on the birthparents rights as well. Today many birthparents would like to be “found” and be reunited with their child. This is very much like the birthmother from CUB who looked for her daughter and was the first to make contact. But what happens when one side of the party does not want to be found? Some adoptees do not want to know any information regarding their birthparents, and some birthparents do not want to have any contact with the children they gave up for adoption. What happens when one side wants to meet while the other side does not? This situation would most likely result in heartbreak and a feeling of rejection.

Open records would impose on the rights of this group of people. Throughout the speakers and readings it showed me everyone case is unique and it would be nearly impossible to impose a law that would not infringe on someone’s right, like the right to know about family history or right of confidentiality. I can understand on why states are having issues with passing Open Adoption Laws for past records because it really is a sensitive topic for all the parties involved.

Sarah 

Pertman, Adam. Adoption Nation: How the Adoption Revolution Is Transforming Our Families- - and America. Boston, MA: Harvard Common, 2011. Print.

Blogpost #3 Option 1

            After talking so much about birthparents and their oppression and struggles with adoption, it was interesting to see the other side of adoption and the feelings that adoptive parents must go through when trying to adopt. The questions that comprised the adoptive parents questionnaire were extremely personal and many of the questions were hard for me to answer. It is difficult for many people to take their life story and put it into a five line word box and on top of it make it sound like there are deserving of a child. The pressure that comes with answering these questions is extreme. One wrong word or type of lifestyle could hinder you from having what you’ve always wanted in life. With this being said, I feel as though it would take a considerable amount of time and effort to complete this set of questions. When something that is so important to you comes down to a set of background information, it would be hard to complete it unless it was perfect. It would take a strong, confident person to answer these questions honestly and wholeheartedly.  

Many of these questions that were so difficult to answer, however, are critical to the adoption process. I think a questionnaire is completely necessary to get a feel for what a person is like and the reasons for why they are that way. This includes asking questions about childhood, about their rearing and what their own philosophies about life and families are. With this being said, I felt like the questionnaire did not do a sufficient job of getting a feel for the adoptive families as individuals. I was greatly surprised by the length of the questions and how brief and non detailed they were. It was almost like writing about your life story with no guidelines and specific questions to help you along through the process. I also felt as though many of the questions were biased, like the adoption agency was looking for a very particular type of person that fit their mold of lifestyle for which a child could grow up healthy in. It didn’t leave room for things that were different or unique about the individuals that were looking to adopt. With this being said, I think it would be essential for adoption agencies to invest more time into finding families who are well rounded, through multiple methods including interviews, questionnaires and in-home visits. 

Blogpost #3 Option #1

After reflecting on the questions and developing my own responses, I think that they seem to be the right questions being asked of a prospective parent.  I was surprised at the brevity of the list, and the amount of questions not directly related to parenting.  Some which I found less relevant were ones like “How do you entertain yourself?.”  This seems a bit redundant considering the questions on hobbies.  I also thought it was interesting that one of the questions asked the prospective parents to describe their own childhoods.  If the agency considers this heavily, it implies that they believe a person’s childhood has a significant impact on their parenting style or potential to be a good parent.  Although I can see the value in this question, I feel it may make a parent seem less adequate if they had a childhood filled with parental abuse or family conflict.  Additionally, the question of “brushes with the law” is an example of Iris Young’s marginalization face of oppression.  People convicted of serious crimes would probably be discriminated against based on this question of the home study.

If I were to imagine myself as a parent who has faced infertility for years this home study would make me feel inferior to other parents who were able to conceive children.  The fact that they are not placed under the same evaluation creates an odd dynamic between the “privileged” and the less “privileged.”  Answering these trivial questions would seem rather annoying and unnecessary.  The home study process seems to play on the idea of adoptive parents being the most powerful relative to other parties in the adoption process but ironically feeling an incredible amount of powerlessness.  While they have quite a bit of financial power, overall they lack the control over whether they will be deemed adequate to adopt. 

I think that no matter what questions would be asked in the home study, the parents would develop answers to please the social worker and agency.  In such a high pressure situation, it is inevitable there will be some dishonesty and embellishment of the truth.  Therefore, there should be more informal observation done as well.  This would increase the feelings of inadequacy in the prospective parents, but it would be worth knowing the child was placed in good hands.

Reanna N.

Blog Post 3, Option 1

I thought this home study exercise was really eye-opening. I didn’t realize how much information was required just to be considered to adopt a child! In some respects, I think they are good questions to ask, but I also wonder how much of it is necessary. I can see how the questions may relate to the way you would choose to parent, but is it really “fair” to make potential adoptive parents write out all the little details of their lives to see if they would make good parents or not? After all, parents who have biological children certainly don’t have to fill out such forms before they can take their child home from the hospital – that would be ridiculous. So why are they so picky with adoptive parents? I completely understand the importance of doing what is best for the child and that you wouldn’t want to put a child into a bad home if it could be avoided, but the whole process still seems a bit excessive to me, in terms of all the steps that need to be taken. However, I can imagine that if I were a potential adoptive parent, I wouldn’t care if it were “fair” or not – I would likely fill it out in a heartbeat, knowing that it would bring me a step closer to being a parent.

                As I was answering the questions, I imagined that my husband and I were unable to have a child of our own, and desperately wanted to be parents. Knowing that each answer could affect whether or not you are able to adopt would put a lot of pressure on you! As I went through each question, I was imagining how the social worker would interpret my answers. I kept thinking, “would this answer help or hinder me from being able to adopt?” If I were actually in this situation, I think I would be incredibly stressed out. I would probably be utterly meticulous in answering these questions, and go over them again and again to make sure everything is perfect. I would be terrified that the “wrong” answer would keep me from getting a child.

                I do think that the home study questions would be helpful for potential parents to discuss their views on parenting and how they would raise a child; however, while that is definitely something to be discussed, I don’t know if they should be approved/denied for adoption based on their responses (except in extreme circumstances, which just creates another issue: where do you draw the line?). I think it is also important for “non-adoptive” parents to discuss their views on parenting before their child is born, but again – they wouldn’t need to fill out a form describing them and have a social worker “approve” the answers. Overall, I think there are a lot of different ways to look at the home study questions, but I think that ultimately, if it gets the parents thinking about how they would raise a child, and also shows that the child would be raised in a stable, loving home, it can be a very helpful tool.

-Rachel

Blog 3, Option 1

What Does it Take to Be an Adoptive Parent?

            Our class discussions have been mostly based on the perspectives of the birthparents and the process and emotions they go through in the adoption process when they give up their child. We have yet to observe the adoption process from the perspective of the adoptive family and what they go through administratively and emotionally to adopt a child. Today I spent time filling out a shortened home study report which is suppose “to educate and prepare the adoptive family for adoption, evaluate the fitness of the adoptive family, and gather information about the prospective parent that will help a social worker connect the family with a child whose needs they can meet” (The Adoption Home Study Process). I did not expect some of the questions on the home study and it gave me an insight on what the first steps of the adoption process.          

            The most important questions on the home study in my opinion were the parent philosophy questions. It is important to examine how a parent with discipline or nurture their children, and hopefully this would get people who are considering adoption to talk about how they would like their child to be raised. Also I think the questions about lifestyle choices, financial stability, and health insurance were all important questions to ask as well. These are important attributes that lets an adoption worker know if these potential parents are ready for a child. However not all the questions I felt were necessary in determining if someone should be able to adopt a child. The questions on religion I thought were intrusive especially in a country that values separation of state and religion. In my opinion the religion that one decides to follow or not to follow should not be a state of evaluation for adoption. Some of the questions were personally intrusive, like examining the relationship with your parents and siblings and some questions were aimed at digging through one’s family history.

It is important to remember in the home study questions it is not only about evaluating the potential adoptive parent(s) but also for the parents to reflect if adoption is the right choice for them. I believe all parents, adoptive parents and parents who give birth to their children, should go though some sort of reflection questionnaire to prepare them for parenthood. Many of these questions revolve on what type of parent one strives to be which I think is important for every potential parent to examine. The home study questions is a significant step the potential adoptive parents most go though, which are intrusive to the people’s past lifestyle, childhood, and current lifestyle today. But these questions hopefully allow people to truly think about parenthood and whether adoption is right for them.

Sarah 

"The Adoption Home Study Process." Child Welfare Information Gateway. US Department of Health and Human Services. Web. 15 Feb. 2012. <http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/f_homstu.cfm>.

Blogpost #2

                Exploitation is one of five faces of oppression that philosopher Iris Young identifies in her article Justice and the Politics of Difference.  Young presents a general definition as, “a systematic process in which the energies of the have-nots are continuously expended to maintain and augment the power, status and wealth of the haves” (50).  This definition gets at the underlying idea of a group being taken advantage of because of their lower position in society.  The main groups Young identifies as victims of exploitation are workers and women.  Desperate workers who are forced to accept pitiful wages are being exploited by the wealthy capitalists who can get away with not properly compensating them.  This is a situation which is still prevalent in our current society.  Many factory jobs and other menial labor positions are occupied by people unaware that they are receiving insufficient wages for their efforts.    Young also identifies women as being exploited.  This example is more about structural exploitation by society.  Because of gender constructs, women are expected to give the, “fruits of material labor to men and transfer of nurturing and sexual energies to men” (50). Today, this issue is less common than the labor issue.  Gender barriers have made significant changes since this article was written to a point that society’s structure does not impose this on women as strongly.

                What makes exploitation oppressive is simple the lack of control and power.  For example, in the factory example, the workers did not have the choice to negotiate wages because they were in positions where they were forced to accept anything.  They lacked the financial and perhaps even racial authority in society to voice an opinion.

                Exploitation is a difficult face to apply to adoption.  It was more present in the “baby scoop era” where birthmothers can said to be “exploited” for their babies.  This could be seen in hospitals and homes where doctors, social workers, and other authorities were able to manipulate the mother’s pregnancy and ultimately force adoption.  The birthmothers were not properly compensated for their children because they lacked choices and suffered emotional turmoil in the process. 

                Today, the face of exploitation does not truly apply to any of the parties of adoption.  There are much stricter regulations implemented which aim to prevent situations of exploitation.  Birthmothers have more of a choice than in past decades and authority figures have less of a coercive role. 

Reanna Nelson

Iris Marion Young, Justice & the Politics of Difference, New Jersey: Princeton, 1990.

Blog Post 2: The Faces of Oppression - Exploitation

I found exploitation to be a tricky subject. More or less, it refers to one group taking advantage of another group for their own benefit. Iris Young also describes the injustice of exploitation as a “transfer of energies from one group to another to produce unequal distributions,” (53) which again shows that one group is being oppressed. Those “energies” can also be thought of as power, in which case people gain power through exploitation, and those being exploited lose power. Exploitation is most commonly associated with the different economic groups; specifically, the lower working class is exploited, and it is often believed that they are exploited by the upper class capitalists. That being said, the most common cases of exploitation occur in the workplace. Some people (the ‘have-nots’) may be paid less than they deserve so that the people ‘on top’ (the ‘haves’) will make a larger profit, thus benefiting themselves. A more intense form of exploitation would be child labor; employers exploit children by using them so that they can make a large profit.

There is also the question of whether women experience gender exploitation. Young has found sources that support the idea that women’s energies are transferred to men, ultimately ‘exploiting’ them (Young 50). Christine Delphy also argued that marriage is a “class relation in which women’s labor benefits men without comparable remuneration” (Young 50). While I can see where these authors are coming from, I personally have a hard time seeing women as being truly exploited by men.

In our group, we discussed that applying exploitation to adoption is a bit of a stretch. The term was originally used in relation to the workplace and wages, and as I have mentioned, it is even a bit difficult to use the term in relation to gender, let alone adoption. However, we tried anyway.J The one party involved in adoption that relates most closely to exploitation is the birthparents. Of all the parties involved, the birthparents seem to be the ones that are the most oppressed, and may be exploited. They experience a significant loss, and there is a sort of ‘transfer’ from one group to another. The only issue is that in this case, we are talking about a human life, rather than money. It could be argued that there is still a sense of power transferred along with the child, however, since the child legally becomes a part of the adoptive family, and the birthparents lose their rights to the child. Although it could possibly be seen as exploitation, I don’t think that it is intentional exploitation on the part of the adoptive parents. Due to the structural nature of oppression, there doesn’t always need to be an oppressor, and I think this is one of those instances. While the birthparents may be exploited in a sense, I do not believe the adoptive parents are guilty of exploitation. The adoptive parents are certainly more privileged than the birthparents, generally speaking. While this is not always the case, adoptive parents tend to be in the upper middle class, and birthparents often are not as stable financially. Through this lens of ‘privilege,’ it once again seems as though birthparents may be exploited to a certain degree. While overall I think it is a bit of a stretch to apply this face of oppression to adoption, I can see some potential aspects of exploitation in adoption.

-Rachel H.

Iris Marion Young, Justice & the Politics of Difference, New Jersey: Princeton, 1990.

Blogpost 2

Exploitation in Adoption

Exploitation, one of the five faces of oppression Iris Young expressed in her book Justice and the Politics of Difference in 1990. The ability to influence a person to do something because the influencer has more power or knowledge is the simplest way of expressing this complex meaning. One blatant example of exploitation is child labor in the sweat shops when the children working are being compensated mere pennies a day. The exploiters are the businessmen and CEO’s who are exploiting the children to earn a bigger profit for themselves. It is all about a transfer of powers. Young states “not only are powers transferred from workers to capitalists, but also the powers of workers diminish by more than the amount of transfer, because workers suffer material deprivation and a loss of control, and hence are deprived of important elements of self respect” (49).  In the process of the transfer of powers as a group loses more and more power, then they become more and more oppressed. Young focuses on the exploitation in the workplace and how the people oppressed are usually the minorities. She states “the injustice of exploitation consists in social processes that bring about a transfer of energies from one group to another to produce unequal distribution, and in the way in which social institutions enable a few to accumulate while they constrain many more” (53). It is the energy transfer that leads to the exploitation. 

     Honestly, it was very hard to tie exploitation into adoption especially in today’s society. One extreme example of exploitation in adoption is the “black baby market” where babies are snatched from their parents and “bought” by privileged adoptive families. However this is not a typical, or legal, practice of adoption. A more likely example of exploitation of adoption is the oppression of birthmothers when they are coerced to give up their baby by their parents, the child’s father, the adoptive parents, doctors or other trusted individuals. The birthmothers are losing power in the ability to make decisions about their child’s future. These are a few examples of exploitation in the context of adoption however it is important to remember exploitation is not prevalent in many cases of adoption.

Blogpost 1, Option #2

The reading from Beggars and Choosers addresses an odd dynamic between the Concerned United Birthparents and mainstream feminists.  It seems ironic that feminists aiming to empower women would be against an organization such as CUB.  However, upon further examination it becomes clear why this barrier existed.  The feminists during the 1960s and 1970s era were, “deeply concerned with articulating resistance to the idea . . . that motherhood was the life defining activity” (116).  Because the CUB emphasized a woman’s “claim to motherhood”, it directly violated a main tenet of feminism at the time.  Additionally, the feminists did not see adoption as a feminist issue, “because women benefited most from getting adopted babies” (117).  While this is partially true, it is obvious the group overlooked the flagrant violation of these mother’s rights.  Perhaps the feminist group feared association with this highly stigmatized group would hinder their own progress. 

One group addressed frequently in the reading is the National Organization for Women (NOW).  This organization was established in the 1966 and aimed to make women’s rights equivalent to those of men.  Deemphasizing the role of a woman as a mother was probably a way for the group to avoid a common stereotype.  It was in the early years, so a radical perspective was necessary to establish their platform.  Today, I think feminists would be much more receptive to the birthmother’s concerns.  Feminism, as I understand it, is more about general female empowerment and equality with men.  Conflicts with groups such as CUB would be seen as detrimental to the overall cause.

Adam Pertman brings up a valid argument in Adoption Nation when he addresses the issues which arise when groups attempt to make progress.  He writes, “They’ve done that in a time-honored fashion among true believers in causes of virtually any kind: by diluting their strength with internal squabbles over how to use their resources” (150).  Pertman is referring to groups attempting to reform adoption practice, but he acknowledges these conflicts are present in any group.  In the early years, feminism was strongly against groups like CUB because they did not recognize their concerns as part of their agenda.  Although it is probable that they would be more empathetic today, they could still ignore their concerns if they did not want to devote precious resources toward that particular cause. 

Reanna Nelson

Solinger, R. (2001). "Clamining rights in te era of choice: Part II: Concerned united birthparents," fromBeggars and choosers: How the politics of choice shapes adoption, abortion, and welfare in the United States. NY: Hill and Wang, p.103-138.