Blog Post 3, Option 1

I thought this home study exercise was really eye-opening. I didn’t realize how much information was required just to be considered to adopt a child! In some respects, I think they are good questions to ask, but I also wonder how much of it is necessary. I can see how the questions may relate to the way you would choose to parent, but is it really “fair” to make potential adoptive parents write out all the little details of their lives to see if they would make good parents or not? After all, parents who have biological children certainly don’t have to fill out such forms before they can take their child home from the hospital – that would be ridiculous. So why are they so picky with adoptive parents? I completely understand the importance of doing what is best for the child and that you wouldn’t want to put a child into a bad home if it could be avoided, but the whole process still seems a bit excessive to me, in terms of all the steps that need to be taken. However, I can imagine that if I were a potential adoptive parent, I wouldn’t care if it were “fair” or not – I would likely fill it out in a heartbeat, knowing that it would bring me a step closer to being a parent.

                As I was answering the questions, I imagined that my husband and I were unable to have a child of our own, and desperately wanted to be parents. Knowing that each answer could affect whether or not you are able to adopt would put a lot of pressure on you! As I went through each question, I was imagining how the social worker would interpret my answers. I kept thinking, “would this answer help or hinder me from being able to adopt?” If I were actually in this situation, I think I would be incredibly stressed out. I would probably be utterly meticulous in answering these questions, and go over them again and again to make sure everything is perfect. I would be terrified that the “wrong” answer would keep me from getting a child.

                I do think that the home study questions would be helpful for potential parents to discuss their views on parenting and how they would raise a child; however, while that is definitely something to be discussed, I don’t know if they should be approved/denied for adoption based on their responses (except in extreme circumstances, which just creates another issue: where do you draw the line?). I think it is also important for “non-adoptive” parents to discuss their views on parenting before their child is born, but again – they wouldn’t need to fill out a form describing them and have a social worker “approve” the answers. Overall, I think there are a lot of different ways to look at the home study questions, but I think that ultimately, if it gets the parents thinking about how they would raise a child, and also shows that the child would be raised in a stable, loving home, it can be a very helpful tool.

-Rachel